UPDATE

I just tracked my package again (told you I was obsessed) and it is presently in Frankfurt, Germany.

Less than 24 hours. REALLY!? And my original package is going on 31 days!?

LET THIS BE A PSA - DON'T EVER USE THE EFFIN POST OFFICE TO SEND A PACKAGE.

the end.

Actually, Tuesday's the new HELL

I was already irritated the moment I opened my eyes yesterday morning. It was still so dark out so I was sure I had another 25 minutes of sleep. But as I was trying to tune out the annoying voices emitting from my alarm radio, I heard the time. So I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter…wait, that’s a different story.

Anyway, I begrudgingly got up and made my way to the shower and got ready for the day. Knowing it was raining pretty hard outside, I decided not to do my hair – wait, I don’t ever do my hair – but it’s a good thing I didn’t pick yesterday to start as the short jaunt to my car left me sopping wet.

Surprisingly, the drive in wasn’t totally hellish and I arrived at the parking lot behind my building at a decent time. It was after I received my parking pass, parked and retrieved my umbrella – that I reached out of the door of my car to open said umbrella and the handle ripped off while buckets of sky juice were raining down on me and the inside of my freshly vacuumed car. Hooray!

After getting settled into my routine for the day I decided I would take a few minutes to make a friendly phone call to the lovely folks at the USPS. Yes ladles and gentlemen, my dear Godson is still without his first birthday package. After arguing with a robot for 10 minutes I was finally connected with a real (albeit helpless) human being. When asked if it was normal for a package to take over a month to reach it’s destination I was told there was “nothing they can do” and “they don’t have any type of tracking or logging system for packages sent First Class”. Well, thanks for that piece of information AFTER I sent it with what I thought was ample time. Rest assure I will NEVER send a package through USPS again.

This sent me into a fiery rage for what was left of the day and I sat there fuming, wanting to flip tables, punch everything, and cry hysterically. Then I decided I’d put together another package (with slightly different contents) and send it FedEx right away. I had learned my lesson and I wasn’t going to let my poor, adorable Godson get screwed out of a birthday package from his Auntie!

So, I left for the day and walked out to my car with an agenda. What a cute surprise when I realized my entire car was covered in bird shit. The windshield, the back window, and both sides (after I had just washed it this weekend) and absolutely no one else’s car had a drop of fowl excrement on it…in a 30 ft radius. OF COURSE! Of course mine was literally the only car shellacked with bird feces.

I sighed, silently cursed the entire species, and got in my car. I turned on the wiper fluid and wipers to try and remove some of the poop in my line of sight. After what felt like 10 minutes of constant wiper-fluid-squirting, it showed signs of defeat. At this point, all the events from the day had culminated and transformed into a brief moment of complete insanity when I was obviously a tad rough with the wiper lever and broke it clean off the steering column.

As I stared at in on the floor – I laughed and said (aloud of course), “sure – why not”. I picked it up, jammed it back into the ‘socket’ and was relieved it still worked. However, much like Andrew Bogut’s recently dislocated elbow, it was useless and floppy when trying to engage the wiper fluid (because Andrew Bogut’s elbow engages wiper fluid?). A piece at the end had snapped off and no longer has leverage to push the tiny button inside of the contraption to release wiper fluid. Guess I’ll be replacing that…

After running around the majority of the evening, post mini-rages, I successfully put together another box for Max and took it to FedEx. New girl working at FedEx that needs help with everything? Duh, who else would I get. In the end she was very nice and sympathetic when I unloaded the entire ‘woe is me’ story on her.

GOOD NEWS is I now have a tracking number, plugged that sucker in this morning and the package is already in transit from Memphis, TN with an expected delivery date of tomorrow, 6pm. I had to drop a small fortune, but at this point, that piece of mind is worth it.

Though, I AM fully expecting my cousin to call me tomorrow saying she received the original package. Then what a pleasant surprise when she receives two!

Thankfully, today is MUCH better than yesterday. Work has hit a very brief lull, I was not called in to jury duty (yet) and I can be as obsessive as I want in tracking my track-able package.

However I am dealing with a violent cowlick that looks like the Red Sea has parted in the back of my head, or someone whipped a tomahawk at my dome and left a wicked gap.

poser!

Seriously?!?

the tiniest violin

Not to make the already difficult Monday even worse with a pessimistic post, but…

Things that are currently an annoyance:

1. Health Care Reform talk – more specifically, the folks who make outrageous claims as if they can predict the future, or make comments completely giving away the fact that they haven’t even educated themselves on the issue and are just jumping on the Obamacare-will-kill-us-all bandwagon.

2. Moving. Again.

3. People who complain how fat they are whilst eating an entire bag of cheetos and/or eating a ‘mini dinner’ before going out to dinner.

4. The severe lack of sense in 89% of the people I come in contact with on a day to day basis.

5. People who apologize too much and for all the wrong things.

6. Laziness.

7. And finally – the fact that my cousin in Germany STILL has not received the package I sent for my Godson’s birthday (which was last Tuesday). We have now passed the two week mark and I can say with certainty I am never using the USPS to send a package again.

OH! AND people who do their makeup/hair/brush teeth in the bathroom at work. Seriously, I'm in here trying to do my business, I don't wanna sit in awkward silence while you need to reapply your makeup 68 times a day.

One GOOD thing to come out of today thus far is the notification that Wednesday thru Friday is casual dress at work. AND Joey Buona’s is catering our lunch on Wednesday.

Monday, Monday – can’t trust that day.

cheese.

Pictured below is my heaven.



Sooo, how does one become involved with the World Championship Cheese Contest? Do they need volunteer taste testers?

Why was I unaware of my heaven on earth taking place at the Monona Terrace right here in Wisconsin.

Bippity Boppity Boo...ooops!

It's no secret that I'm addicted to the 16 and Pregnant reality series on MTV (as well as it's counterpart, Teen Mom).

Tonight's episode featured a young girl by the name of Lori, who had a permanent "who farted" expression the entire episode.

Besides that, she had a strong resemblance to someone else...

Madame Mim's love child perhaps!?!?



Now if you'll excuse me, I have a hankering for Sword and the Stone.

liebe mein Patenkind!

Happy FIRST Birthday to my wonderful, amazing, hilarious, adorable, smiley Godson.



I sent him a package complete with a baby shirt I had made at Cafe Press that says "I :heart: my Auntie Niki" on it, haha - big legos, 2 DVDs of my favorite shows when I was little (Tom & Jerry and Fraggle Rock) and last but not least, a home-made DVD of all of his family and friends here saying happy birthday in various entertaining ways.

I mailed it out Sunday, March 7th - I thought for sure that would give enough time for it to arrive. However, I have not heard from my cousin Nina yet so it's making me nervous! I plan on calling early today to wish him a happy birthday. If they're lucky they won't be home so they'll return to a horribly sung song on the machine!

I miss you boo boo!

Rolling...

Disclaimer: this post may very well be one big spoiler alert, so proceed with caution.

I suck at making lists. Plain and simple.

I have issues with being able to narrow things down – such as: if you were stranded on an island and could only take 3 albums with you, which ones would you take? What are your top 5 movies? Your top 10 songs? Your 3 favorite meals? So on and so forth…

Can’t do it. So, just consider the following a collection of some memorable movie scenes. However, I did keep the movie choices at 10 to keep it somewhat ‘list-like’.

And I am 101% sure I’ve left out some of my favorites – but, as I said there were no guidelines to creating this ‘collection’. Just scenes from the top of my head.

I like how I’m trying to justify this pointless rambling of a post to myself…

Onward! In no particular order…

American Psycho: Chainsaw scene
Unfortunately it took me far too long after this movie came out to even see it – but after that fateful night of drinking 249 pots of coffee at Tina’s and watching it on AMC at 5am – I was totally hooked. I didn’t really want to pick one, as I rifled through so many: “FEED ME A KITTEN”, the business card scene, “is that a raincoat?”, “STOP SOUNDING SO F*CKING SAD, JESUS!” and of course the hilarious scene with Mr. Bateman in hysterics confessing his crimes. But there’s just something about that maddening scene with him completely crazed, chasing that poor girl through his apartment and into the stairwell in nothing but tennis shoes wielding a chainsaw that gets me every time.

Eulogy: Alice & Samantha scene
First off, let me say that I think this movie is truly one of the most underrated movies of all time. I had never even heard of it until I happened upon it in the ‘previously viewed’ section of Blockbuster. To be honest the only reason I bought it was because Zooey Deschanel, my major girl crush, was in it. Pleasantly surprised is an understatement. It follows a family’s coping mechanisms and general dysfunction after a family member dies. Secrets are exposed and hilarious turmoil ensues. And it is SO wonderfully weird.

Back to the task at hand. Alice (Debra Winger) is one of 4 siblings affected by the death of Ed (Rip Torn), her father. She’s high strung, cynical, married to a man she’s practically made mute, and has 3 just-as-mute children. She spends most of the first half antagonizing her sister Lucy (Kelly Preston), and her partner Judy (Famke Jannsen) about their lesbian lifestyle. However at one point you witness an awkward encounter between Alice and Samantha (Glenne Headly) after they are re-united after many years. This sets us up for the scene I’m referring to. Alice and Samantha are sitting in her car in the rain, discussing the tragic loss of Ed, and life in general when Alice asks “do you remember when my dad caught us in the basement?” – there was a moment of silence and then Samantha asks “were we doing this?” – and before you know it, everything you know/thought about Alice is turned on it’s head. Suddenly her character makes so much more sense – and then you feel a tinge of sadness because she’s been living a lie and all the things she hated in her sister were all the things she couldn’t understand in herself. And then you can’t help but laugh as someone’s ass comes crashing through the sunroof mid reunited make out session.

Believe me, this is just one of MANY, heartwarming, odd, hysterical scenes that make up this movie.

Caddyshack: Cinderella Boy
Now, this movie is CHOCK full of golden nuggets, but the first scene that always comes to mind is the groundskeeper Carl, imagining himself on the PGA Tour (or something), muttering to himself as the announcer whilst hitting the living daylights out of peonies (were they? I don’t know they looked like it) as if they were golf balls. “He’s a Cinderella boyyy, tears in his eyes I guess as he lines up for this next shot…”. Nobody but Bill Murray could have pulled this off as well.

Baby Mama: Gum scene
You cannot go wrong with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Inching ahead past the “chocolate or poop” scene is the gum scene. Angie (Poehler) is getting used to living in a civilized manner and while cackling hysterically at a guy getting whacked in the balls on “Funniest Home Videos”, puts a chewed piece of gum under the coffee table, as Kate (Fey) watches. “Did you just put gum underneath my coffee table, do you think you're at an Arby’s?” Angie’s responses are classic, “I don’t knooooow…maybe you put some of it under there!...Bitch, I don’t know your life!” Never. Gets. Old.

Waynes World: I’m in…Delaware scene
If you know me, you probably know how extremely difficult it was for me to pick ONE scene from this movie. So I went with the one that often randomly pops into my head, and that I will find any excuse to quote.

Wayne and Garth are experimenting with the new green screen capabilities after their show “Wayne’s World” becomes sponsored and put on network television. They’re standing in front as locations ‘magically’ appear behind them. “Texas, howdy partner…” “Hawaii, mooka laka laylie, c’mon you wanna lay me” and finally, “Or, Imagine! Being magically whisked away to…Delaware. Hi…I’m in…Delaware” His facial expression says it all.

Airplane!: Cockpit scene
Seriously, this whole movie is basically one whole scene. There are too many classic one-liners to count. But, in honor of Peter Graves (who passed away today) I will go with one of several hilarious cockpit scenes. Little Joey is invited into the cockpit and while there, endures a serious of random, irrelevant questions from Captain Oveur (Graves). After a sensible “You ever been in a cockpit before?” comes “You ever seen a grown man naked?” and “Joey, you ever been in a…Turkish prison?” Ahh, Random and I go hand in hand.

Following close behind is all of Rumack’s (Leslie Nielsen) ridiculous banter with various flight staff.

Striker: “Surely you can’t be serious”
Rumack: “I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley”.

Rumack: “Well, can’t you take a guess?”
Oveur: “Not for another two hours”
Rumack: “You can’t take a guess for another two hours?”

Town & Country: Hover-round scene
This movie is another hidden gem. While the entire thing isn’t necessarily quotable, there is one particular scene that busts my gut. I can’t even correctly set it up as I haven’t seen it in awhile – but Eugenie (Andie McDowell) is at her mother’s home – and her mother is a crotchety old bag with a drinking problem and in a motorized wheel chair. She goes off on a foul-mouthed tirade about her husband not “doing it to her anymore”, wants him to stir her drink with “that big swinging d*** of his”, shouts an incorrectly tensed expletive and speeds past the scene in her hover-round.

Honestly one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen, because of the WTF factor.

First Wives Club: C’mon Annie scene
I want to be Diane Keaton when I grow up. The woman is naturally gorgeous and I really can’t name a movie I didn’t like her in. FWC is an old favorite and there’s a scene a friend and I quote to this day, out of the blue, 12 years later. Annie (Keaton) is at her therapists (Marcia Gay Harden) dealing with the demise of her marriage. At one point, the therapist gives Annie a foam bat and tells her to hit her. Annie, being the kind hearted, naturally mellow person she is, declines more than once as her therapist repeatedly tells her to “C’MON ANNIE, HIT ME!!” Through laughter she finally exclaims “I’d love to!” and proceeds to smack her in the face multiple times as if she were trying to kill an unwanted spider in the vicinity.

This scene has 10x the hilarity if you pause it different times throughout the bashing and take note of their facial expressions.

Along Came Polly: White Chocolate scene
As several of you know, Philip Seymour Hoffman has a special place in my heart. Because, as I so profoundly put once upon a time, he “has great comedic timing. And he’s really good in serious movies too.”

Sandy (Hoffman) is an expired child star in the movie, still living of the profits of “Crocodile Tears”. In this scene, Sandy and Ruben (Ben Stiller) are playing basketball and a maniacal Sandy is running his sweatpants’d, chubby ass around the court like a crazy person, hogging the ball and taking ridiculous shots while yelling things like “white chocolate!” and “make it rain!” as each shot bounces clean of the backboard or completely misses the hoop altogether. Then pauses the game because his “lungs are burning”.

Definitely a rewind scene (as well as in the beginning of the movie when he slips and falls on a freshly waxed dance floor).

Annnd finally

The Notebook: The Rain scene
After thinking about this ‘list’ – I realized most of my choices were comedies. Makes sense since those are typically the ones that enter my mind at any given time, causing me to laugh at inopportune times like when I’m alone which results in me looking like a complete whack-a-mole.

So then I thought about The Notebook. The first time I saw this movie was during a particularly rough period in my life – I started crying 15 minutes in and did not stop until the end. Ask my girls, Katie and Z. My eyes were so swollen I actually wore sunglasses at work the next day.

Once I was able to view the movie when my life wasn’t a somber, black hole – I was able to enjoy it like a normal person. Though most of the movie still gets to me, no matter how many times I watch it, it has become one of my most favorites. The scene where Noah and Allie are rowing back to the house shortly after they were reunited again after so many years is without a doubt my favorite. In the middle of the journey it starts pouring and once they reach the dock, Allie demands to know why he never wrote her. She finds out he did in fact write her, 365 letters, and her mother kept them from her. He exclaims it wasn’t over, and “IT STILL ISN’T OVER” – as he rushes over, mashes his face against hers and they stumble into the house, lip-locked, and make wet, soggy love. Awwww.

C’mon what do you want from me, I’m a chick.

Aaaand scene.

why 12 year olds should NOT have cell phones

You got this SO wrong. The talent this season has been severely lackluster and my only glimmer of hope was a mere smattering of contestants. The two pictured above were among them. How Puka Shell David Archuletta 2.0 and Miss Pre-teen Donut Hole State Fair at the Radisson were spared is beyond me.

If Big Mike and Crystal don't make it to the top 4, I will set a recycling bin on fire.

6 degrees to your Happy Place

I remember it like it was yesterday

All the good parts anyway – hot summers with what seemed like a permanent smell of BBQ in the air. My swing-set in the backyard with the cheap, slippery plastic seats (which I would later fling off backwards into the wooden fence behind it while trying to show off with “no hands”). The neighborhood kids and I laying on Joni and Joe’s *hill trying to determine what animals or objects the clouds seemed to take form. Micro Machines on NES in Kelly’s basement. Playing oldies records on her record player. Endless hours of playing at Dumper’s Park, before the parkway was built and ruined its charm. How much charm can a park named Dumper’s have? Sleepovers with Sarah (two nights in a row were a bonus!) and being completely flabbergasted by the fact her parents let her draw (the batman symbol?) on the walls in her room. My dad’s ‘daisy dukes’. My mom’s half mullet. Omi’s (grandma’s) thick German accent echoing throughout her house, 2 doors down, while she was either a. calling me her little shit or b. Am Telefon mit ihrer Schwester im Deutschland (on the phone with her sister in Germany.) Sometimes we’d all congregate there, get the fried chicken, fries and cole slaw from Gold Rush (still the best fried chicken around if you ask me. Or Uncle Mike) and play Yahtzee while watching music videos on MTV. You hear that MTV? MUSIC VIDEOS. If we were lucky, Omi would pipe in with her rendition of the Beavis and Butthead laugh, or fall asleep while shaking the dice. Either or.

Our neighborhood in the 80s was all about block parties. One street was all single family homes and the next, closest to the park, was mostly duplexes. To this day my memory of that street just includes ‘the twins’. Two large women, with black hair, who lived upstairs in one of the duplexes and would enjoy the block parties from the comfort of their balcony. I remember thinking how odd it was that two grown women could look exactly the same. Like, the ‘twins syndrome’ only affected kids? Perhaps it was because we had 3 sets in our class at St. Paul’s. We’d watch the South Shore Water Frolic fireworks from our porches (or Walgreens parking lot) – and if we were feeling unruly, throw a softball onto the middle of KK, wait for a car tire to make contact with it and watch it ricochet off the curb. Hey we didn’t have xbox live or guitar hero in the 80s! We had to get creative. On days I stayed at Omi’s house I would sit in her big picture window and guess which color the next car that passed on KK was going to be. Looking back I’m sure she made this game up to get me away from watching my aunt and uncle’s **wedding video all day so she could watch Matlock or Perry Mason.

I could literally go on for hours, but in the interest of my poor reader(s), I won’t.

So, why the clusterf*ck of childhood memories?

Corey Haim died.

I know. I’m hearing a collective, “Seriously?!”

Though I don’t own ALL of his movies, or have even SEEN all of his movies - one holds a special place in my heart. The Lost Boys. This has long been a cozy favorite of mine. Cozy? Isn’t it about vampires? Yes, yes it is. But I will forever associate with my childhood in Bay View. Two of my friends on our block were named Kelly – so making it as simple as possible for our young minds, they were identified as Big Kelly and Little Kelly – which, in retrospect is sort of awful for young girls. However one was tall and one wasn’t so that was that. Big Kelly LOVED The Lost Boys and would force us to watch it whenever possible. Probably as punishment for turning on all the lights at 1am, waking her up and telling her it was morning so she should get dressed. And she did. Ooooh brutal. While I don’t have many memories of Big Kelly – The Lost Boys is still a very current connection to what I view as the best era of my life thus far.

So, RIP Corey – I hope wherever you are, you finally find the peace and happiness your little movie from 1987 brings me.




*this hill I speak of was essentially a clump of grass at a 40 degree angle off the side of their house in an alley. Ahhh, city life.

**Apparently, I was completely obsessed with the wedding video of my aunt and uncle, which I was the miniature bride in. And I liked to watch it multiple times a day while naming the entire wedding party as they walked down the aisle. I was 3.

It's ste-FAH-ni

This post requires the photo you're about to see, and not much else. And if you've seen Baby Mama, it's that much more hilarious.



Thank you, Dave & Buster's.

G of I G

Before I forget...

My New Year's Resolution this year was to begin a campaign to get Ellen Degeneres to follow me on Twitter by way of a series of intriguing images. However, in keeping with my tradition of quitting something after achieving no results in a near immediate timeframe, it lasted 3 weeks. Damn you generation of instant gratification!

Call of Duty: Grammar style

PSA:

Here's a little treat I happened upon while on my journey to wash my extra special coffee cup.


I feel as if it is my duty to bring ridiculous mistakes such as these to light. Everyone over the age of 12 should know the difference between loose and lose, your you're, their they're and there.

Something is backwards if you can spell 'efficient' but not 'lose'. Having said that, maybe they did in fact use the spell check function as it would not detect 'loose'. Regardless, Curtis, you should still know the difference.

Now, obviously I'm not perfect and from time to time make these mistakes myself - the difference is proof reading and using the spell checker. Especially if you're going to put it in 36pt font.

Betcha can't guess who took it upon themselves to correct it.

BJ!

No, piglets. Not that.

I'm referring to Baby Jessica. The year was 1987 - a small baby, by the name of Jessica, fell into a well. She was stuck.



Stuck real good. Stuck for what I'm sure felt like years to her. Maybe decades. Well, I've totally Baby Jessica'd this blog.

No one wants me to go all John Madden on this piece and give a stroked out play by play of the entire last year, so I'm going to list words and short sentence fragments to hopefully fill in the HUGE wormhole in this blog.

Here goes...well nothing...

don't remember
don't remember
Las Vegas
Move to duplex with Kelly
don't remember
Birthday camping
Volleyball
16 weeks unemployed
Copious pitchers of beer
don't remember (betcha didn't see that one coming after 'copious pitchers of beer')
JOB! JOB! JOB!
GERMANY! GERMANY! GERMANY!
My love, my life, my boo boo

The indisputable highlight of 2009 was going to Germany and meeting my Godson Max, landing a pretty great full-time job comes in second.

I am a marketing specialist designing marketing materials for mutual fund clients of Quasar Distributors (a subsidiary of US Bancorp). The end.

I'm running out of steam.

Now that we're up to speed. I'm moving. AGAIN. Imagine that! Yes in true "this is your life" fashion, I'm watching everyone take two steps forward while I take two steps back (thank you Ms. Abdul) and moving in with my brother. To the apartments I lived in when I was 21. I like reverse. Especially in a car with a manual transmission. It makes that cool toy car noise...

BUT, it's all for the sake of my savings account, pad that effer like a cozy room in the looney bin. I'm ready to take the stairs two at a time and get me some ass...ets. Hopefully in about a yearsish time I can start hunting for a house. I'm going to set a goal for a down payment - and update the blog with percentage progress.

I've become much more conservative with my spending and now that I've released this electrifying news to the interwebs, I'm going to look like a major asshole if I don't come through.

Maybe I should blog about exercise...on second thought...

...what was I talking about?

These days are spent incredulously staring at the television while visions of pregnant teens, their immensely rude and ignorant counterparts, "situations", and orange poser Italian dwarves flash before my ever-aging eyes.

And on that note - it's past my bedtime. I guess the plus side of not posting in 5 quarters...I mean 15 months (I work too much?) is that all...3 of you...get this Year in Pictures review.



















(the last just represents the 'don't remember' portions of the recap)

This was an awful reintroduction.

And you'll never get those 3 minutes back. For that I am truly sorry.

the hills are alive...

With the sounds of all kinds of shit. I sincerely apologize for practically being on a milk carton for about the last 5 months. There's really no specific reason or excuse for it other than I just never felt like it. I'm an adult, that's reason enough - I don't have to answer to anyone - YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!

I don't even know where to begin....to start boring you to tears. I have to say the last 5 months or so have been pretty good to me with only a few hiccups, which have since been resolved - well...all except one. That being the job situation - yes ladies and germs I'm still flopping like a fish out of water who's gills have then dried up. To top it all off no one's found me lying motionless on the carpet to rescue me and put me where I belong. My creativity's all dried up and I'm suffocating in a world I was not made to live in.

With all that being said, things actually be on the upswing as there may be a chance I'm scraped off the carpet next Wednesday. Keep all of your extremities crossed. Please and thank you.

The end of July and August brought me nothing that I should write home about - although it could just be the glorious 4 weeks in September/October spent with 2 of my favorite people in the world that fogs up those end-of-summer memories. My cousin Nina and her husband Achim arrived on September 15th and stayed with me until October 10th. While the massive chunk of time off put a huge mack-truck-sized dent in my bank account, it was definitely well worth it. We visited my almost permanently intoxicated, shotgun wielding family in da U.P eh for my cousin Erin's wedding. Nina was thrilled to experience an 'American' wedding and I was thrilled there was something other than Miller Lite on tap for the reception.

We flew to New York at the very beginning of October and quickly realized I was far more excited than they. We covered a lot in 3 days and by the end I had felt like I walked to the ends of the earth. Our hotel was marvelous and in the center of everything which allowed us to experience a lot with little effort. I finally got to see a bit of the 'Today' show - as corny as it sounds it was a little surreal seeing Al Roker and Matt Lauer within feet of myself. Then as luck would have it I caught a glimpse of LL Cool J reading 'Corduroy' to some unruly children. We took a bus tour with various odd tour guides and learned where Mariah Carey and Leonardo DiCaprio live, where Paul Simon and Joan Baez first got their start, that people like to stick their heads up the bull's ass on Wall street and finally that you shouldn't be surprised when an older, military-esque black man in fact speaks German. Though had you been there you would have known it seemed EVERYONE in NYC speaks German. I had to frequently look up at the Empire State Building to make sure I was in fact in NYC and not looking at the tv tower in Alexanderplatz, Berlin. We used the tour bus as our personal taxi and visited the sobering ground zero site (which looks a lot different than 2 years ago), walked the south street seaport to get a better view of the Brooklyn Bridge and took a jaunt on the Staten Island Ferry to get a good look at ol' Lady Liberty. We held on for dear life atop the very chilly and very windy Empire State Building at night where I took at least 100 pictures. We dined at Justin Timberlake's restaurant where I inhaled the most glorious mac 'n cheese with bacon. But the one thing at the top of my list was to visit The Dakota, the apartment building where John Lennon's life was taken by a coward, and Strawberry Fields. It was a little bizarre, standing in the place he last stood.



















I had been there before - but I can't begin to express to you how much I love New York City. While I'm not sure I could live there without feeling like I was living in some sort of modern day, whirlwind fairytale - I am absolutely sure I'd like to be in the city at least another 93485673498576 times before I kick the bucket. Maybe it's because I always feel like I'm apart of something when I'm there, even as I'm walking briskly down 5th Ave, alone in a sea of strangers. It's invigorating and I always feel a sense of sorrow when I have to leave.

I was once again filled with a sense of sadness, that's sometimes overwhelming, when my family had to leave. No matter how elated I am at the first sight of them, there's always this tiny speck of pessimism in knowing that it will be short-lived. It's a difficult thing, having people that close to you live so far away. But I suppose I should think of the glass half-full (of some sort of dark german lager) - I have something wonderful to look forward to for the next year when I hop aboard a plane once again - and get to meet my new little cousin. I wonder if deutsch baby googoos and gagas are different?

I'm not going to indulge in a certain other aspect of my life as it seems whenever I do, it's the kiss of death. I'll just say the universe opened up and dropped in my lap something pretty promising.

I'm going to TRY and keep this thing updated more frequently than once every score - but no promises, because as Dru Hill says "I never make a promise, I can't keep."

Til next time friends - I'm off to brave weather the eskimos, or Sarah Palin, should be jealous of.

holy hot tuna fart

I apologize to everyone who doesn't read this...I've been missing for 2 months. Get over it - oh you already are? Ok good.

It's summer - I'm SO not in the blogging mood, like...ever. Plus it probably helps that I haven't got too much to say. One thing that IS new and exciting and wondermous and fabtastic is that I did in fact find a great place and am now living in a pretty-close-to-perfect 2 bedroom apartment in the bay view area. I'm in love with it - and this one minor plus in my black hole of a life has saved me from possibly jumping from a very high ledge...so to speak.

I've been quite busy what with work (which is also coming to an end soon, back to square one), and summerly activities. Concerts galore - Robert Plant/Alison Krauss, John Mayer, Gavin Degraw - Reba McIntyre tomorrow, The Police on Friday, Celine Dion in September and NKOTfreakinB in October. You heard me, I'm making up for the fact that I never got to see the 'Kids' in their hay-day - and I realize they're in their 40s now but so what, I'm no spring chicken these days either, though I'll probably scream like one. DON'T JUDGE ME.

So, with all that being said, I bid you adieu and it very well may be another 2 months before I post again, so don't get your crease all greased.

Ciao.

sweet beans I've been MIA....

This will not be a long post as I don't really feel like writing. But I've been buuuuusaaayy.

Shortly after my last post I was preparing myself for my trip to Germany to visit family AND just before I left I landed a job. Before you start leaping for joy (because I know you all would) it's just a temp job until August, but it will pay the bills in the meantime. It's also with a group of people I used to work with that I really enjoyed, and doing a large variety of design work which is a huge plus and much needed change from my last job.

I've also been busy searching craigslist every 5 seconds to find a new place to live. I'm pretty over living in OC, sure it's nice - but I need a change...and I'm not to happy with these apartments. So I'm looking at two duplex's this week, one in SM right around Grant Park and one in Cudahy by the lake. I'm also movin' on up to a 2 bedroom, I figured it'd be nice to have the extra space to do my freelance work and keep all my equipment and also have a nice space for any visitors - especially when my favorite people in the world (fam from Germany) come to visit.

Speaking of, my vacation in Deutschland was amazing, as it always is, but oh so hard to leave my cousins....as it always is. And the older I get the more my emotions run rampant and I was blubbering like a big fat baby in the airport. Thankfully they are planning on coming here in September and I am planning on heading back there next May.

Well I'm going to run, I have some shows on my DVR to watch, I'm getting sleepy and my new tattoo is itchy and needing it's salve.

Auf Wiedersehen!!!

It's been a long time....

Been a long time, been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time.....

Little Zep for you.

But yes, I haven't been around. I've been in sort of a funk which is the result of a multitude of things. The main one being that I'm still without a job. I was THISCLOSE to getting a job I was actually pretty excited about - it's a really long story, but in short it was down to me and another person (out of 300!) and the person they chose was actually a friend of mine...who actually had a job and just decided to find something else. This was an 'only me' situation folks.

I've also been becoming increasingly frustrated with my equipment situation. Since being thrown back out into the pits of unemployment I've learned that things have changed a bit in the last three years. Web design is becoming more and more prevalent in graphic design positions to the point where it seems like they're basically merging. Obviously the web is everywhere and a major part of communications/marketing so that's understandable - but while in college and starting my career, they were still two separate positions. I haven't had much opportunity to learn web as it wasn't needed, but now while searching for jobs day in and day out I'm realizing that needs to change. Here's the issue, my computer is old, rather ancient in computer years. Yes, it still works, but in it's old age has become sluggish. Up until recently I was three operating systems behind (now I believe I'm one or two behind) which causes mannnny incompatibility problems with hardware and software, I'm 3 versions behind in design software which consistently causes roadblocks in trying to improve my portfolio and do freelance work and there's no way I'm learning web without web software. The problem is the catch 22 - with no job, I definitely have no money for a well deserved upgrade, and without the necessary tools to improve my knowledge and body of work it's going to be a little more difficult to get that job. It's a vicious circle. Obviously it's do-able since I was recently very close to a job, but it'd be nice to be able to utilize the best tools in my field - otherwise why would there even be upgrades? It's like telling a photographer, oh well for the next 3 weeks you're gonna need to oil paint your subjects - worked for the Mona Lisa didn't it? Or tell a carpenter, we're cutting off your electricity for an unknown period of time, there's a handsaw right over there for your major projects....or a mechanic - well we don't have any wrenches, your hands work just fine - use those!

This wasn't meant to be a 'woe is me' post - but it's annoying having a creative urge stifled by less than stellar creative conditions.

So if I can find 2000 people that would like to donate a dollar to my cause, that'd be great. You'll get an I.O.U in return and that dollar's all yours once I land that killer job! Haha.

because, I have to

Well, hello there!

Fancy meeting you here! I'm doing well, yourself? Wonderful.

Yes, I'm still Johnnie McUnemployed. I haven't allowed myself to get TOO lazy however. Did a little grocery shopping, made some home-made creamy tomato soup, made mucho progress on a little freelance project, scrubbed the bathtub, read a book and started another. I also stayed true to my promise of Living Single marathons (but only on Thursday's, WTF Oxygen Network!) and glorious naps. If they could pay me for being a professional napper, I'd be a millionaire, I'm that good at it.

I did have an interview about a week and a half ago with no results yet, and I'm also meeting with another agency this week. I know all your fingers and toes and legs are losing blood flow and becoming cramped and deformed - but please keep them crossed. Pretty please with a cherry on top!?

Along with the rest of Wisconsin I'm sure, I am so glad we've escaped February and have entered March. I'm counting on March to lift my spirits - slightly warmer weather, daylight savings time in about a week, Chicago: The Musical starring my lovely Dan :) and the fact that I can now say I leave for Germany NEXT MONTH! It's been 4 years since I've seen my long lost sister (cousin) and I am counting down the days until I see her! My other sister from another mister, Kelly, and I are ecstatic. Whilst shopping this weekend I picked up some seriously discounted, albeit fabulous, new luggage and I am so excited to use it I could probably start packing tomorrow. Nerd.

Well I'm off to do one of 3 things:

1) Read some more of my book The Invisible Wall
2) Lay on the couch and watch some Will & Grace
3) Lay on the couch and....nap.....

Wish me luck on this life-changing decision.