I am normally not always a fan of reality shows - oh who am I kidding, yes I am. But this one takes the cake, or maybe in this case, the virginity? J and I anxiously wait all week for 8pm Monday nights to sit down, relax and experience the sheer joy that VH1 has put forth.
'Mystery' (I dont even remember his real name) is a man who calls himself a Master Pick-up Artist - which we've come to discover is more along the lines of Master Player of Unneccessary Games. I don't really know the entire backstory of why or when this man decided that this was his calling, or why VH1 thought it would be a good idea to develop an entire tv series around Mystery and his 'method'. Actually I take that back, I do know why - they somehow knew that people would watch, if not for the ridiculous entertainment of it all - for the men out there who for some reason think there's some sort of guidebook and trickery to meeting women. Nonetheless, it got J and my asses hooked - so much so that it has made my list of shows worth DVR-ing.
Mystery comes complete with two wingmen, J-Dog(g?) and Matador. Why they feel these outrageous nicknames are necessary is beyond me, maybe they think they're fulfilling some sort of childhood fantasy. The fact that these 'students' believe this man can give them some sort of tools required to meet women is disappointing. First of all, our friend Mystery looks like a tool himself. Honey you need to quit raiding Pam Anderson's wardrobe, with your big froofy hat (just because yours is black doesn't make it any more masculine) and pleather/cheetah prints.
You also need to stay out of her make-up drawer, with that thick-ass eyeliner. And I don't know who you're fooling with that lip smack tattoo on your neck - we all know you have a lifetime supply of that stick on tattoo in your dressing room, or purse, or whatever it is you carry. He also has a vast array of other hats and bandanas along with 394 pairs of goggles to accompany them. He even has wooden ones with little slits in the eye area...were you on a dutch version of Star Trek at some point in your life?
Aside from his atrocious choice of wardrobe, we've also noticed a pretty wicked lithp, I'm sorry - lisp - that shows it's ugly face more and more as the season progresses - and his obvious attempt to disguise it. Now, I'm not making fun of people who have lisps, or other speech impediments - shit happens. But my man's opened pandora's box with all this mess - so it's necessary to mention.
Now these students of his aren't ugly by any means, and with the exception of a couple truly socially inept wackos - just seem like genuinely nice, shy guys - going after the wrong women. In watching the show, I've learned a few things.
Apparently....
1. You need to make yourself seem like a completely self-involved asshole to get a women to 'chase you'
2. You need to have an understanding of a really weird collection of terms such as gambit, keno, two-set, etc. (watch the show, you'll know what I mean)
3. You have to have a script memorized before approaching any woman, because normal conversation is so last week
and 4. as a man, the only response you need to anything a woman says to you is "you'll have to buy me a drink first". Whatever happened to a gentlemen buying a lady a drink?
I realize I'm totally dogging the show (and rightfully so) all the while plugging it - but in my opinion (coming from a woman!) this show needs to be watched for two reasons. Pure entertainment, and to learn what NOT to do. Because if any man came at me with the mess he sends these men into bars with, you can guarantee I, or any other woman in their right mind, would see right through it. The only women who fall for scripted nonsense are either drunk and want nothing to do with you, just what's in your pants - or are completely insecure with themselves and fawn all over any man who gives them attention, and that just has bad news written all over it.
Disclaimer - if all you're looking for is T & A, then disregard this entire post. But the men on this show seem to be looking for something more.
Watch this and you'll get the gist of the wonder that is The Pick-Up Artist.
A few last words - women are really not that scary. A genuine conversation with somebody is always the best policy and games will get you nowhere. You don't need clever gimmicks and pick-up lines and crazy vocabulary terms to define steps in getting closer to a woman. And anyone who DOES need that sort of nonsense, is not a woman you want to be associated with anyway.
But seriously, watch it.
Edit: I totally forgot to add the link of his website, where I assume all this tom foolery began and how he got his show in the first place. Personally, I like the fact that he says it's not about "sleazy lounge lizards with too much jewelry and cologne" yet in the next breath "there are very few women who cannot be put under your spell" - spell? Are you kidding? That has creep written all over it. Why don't you just slip a date rape drug into my drink while you're at it.
www.themysterymethod.com
And check out his 'products' and those prices!!!! This dude is making BANK off poor guys with low self esteem - DOUCHEY!
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