ho-down with Beyonce

I'm a little late on this - but better late than never right!

Sugarland and Beyonce performed together at the AMA's this year - and it got one of two responses, people either loved it or hated it. Once I got over the initial shock of this country arrangement of a pop/r&b song - I really liked it. It's really different and suprisingly goes really well together. Though, I'm a lover of all genres of music, including country. Old, new, rock influenced and ridiculously twangy - I like it. So that's probably part of it, however I think people who can appreciate music for what it is can also enjoy this little ditty.



In talking with the girls at work I said how all the mix-n-match of music these days makes me really happy. It not only shows how truly talented musicians are, but that they are also appreciative of other genres of music besides their own!

It's as close to world peace as we're going to get......

ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges

There comes a time when life needs a little fluffing....so to speak. Like fluffing up the toys in a claw machine so you get the chance for something new. Stupid analogy....but that time is now.

Last week we found out that our department is under some serious re-orgs and come February, half of us won't have jobs. However, unlike most - I wasn't devastated, or angry, or confused and distraught. I take this as a sign that I truly am ready to move on, and am destined for something better - something I deserve. The search has already begun! I'm excited about this new endeavor and I am confident that my experience and talent will be an asset to any company!

Now that I got all that said - Thanksgiving is in T minus TWO days! It's going to be wonderful relaxing for 4.5 days and even more wonderful shoving my fat face with all the stuffing and taters I can eat. Then topping it all off with a gargantuan wedge of pumpkin pie and whip cream. I already know what I'm going to feel like afterwards, suicidal - and maybe wish a little bit that throwing up after eating isn't so looked down upon...but it comes once a year people, I'll deal! I don't eat enough of the turkey to fall into a deep triptophan induced coma, but I'm sure my stomach ballooning to the size of a basketball and suffocating every other organ in the area will block enough oxygen from getting to my brain and I'll pass out anyway.

CORNUCOPIA!

A few things I need to mention:

The 19th was yesterday so i guess it's ok for me to get into the Holiday spirit. I haven't immediately shut off The Mix these days when coming across it on the radio - and have allowed myself to indulge in a few tunes, namely "Last Christmas" by Wham, "All I Want For Christmas" by Mariah Carey and "Please Come Home for Christmas" by The Eagles....I can never pass those up. Even if it was June. And I have to admit I cheated and changed my ringtone on Saturday to "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" by none other than *NSYNC. Seeing the decorations down Wisconsin Ave downtown doesn't make me throw up in my mouth a little anymore - and seeing the cheesy candy canes, wreaths and christmas tree decorations on the light poles in Oak Creek actually puts a bit of a smile on my face. I think I'm ready.

Also, this past Saturday I was introduced to the most wonderful thing I ever put in my mouth (no, not that!). A pumpkin spice martini folks. Sounds a little odd, I know - but it was absolutely delicious. I'm telling you it's pumpkin pie in a martini glass. They even made it with pumpkin vodka and put whip cream on top! It probably helps that it was served by the best bartender I know, my friend Jesse :) - but I'm a little sad it's a seasonal thing! So if you're ever at place where they serve specialty martinis and you notice this one, do NOT pass it up.

And last but definitely not least - if you haven't already heard of Sara Bareilles, you need to check her out. Her music is amazing - and her album 'Little Voice' is only $7.99! Best $8 I ever spent - I would have spent $20. Her voice has a wonderful tone to it and I could listen to it for days - at times it's a little reminiscent of Fiona Apple (but better IMO) and sometimes maybe even Bonnie Raitt. If anything, at least check out 'Love On the Rocks' and 'Morningside'.

With that, I bid you adieu. Hope you all have a wonderful thanksgiving filled with delicious food, family and maybe only one or two stomach aches.

So....gobble gobble....with yo big ass forks....

25 years OLD...not young...OLD

Ok so really I've got about six months until I hit a quarter century - but lately I've been feeling about a half century old. Last year around spring or fall (I can't remember which, see, my mind's even going!) I started having problems with my right knee. It would begin to hurt for what seemed like no reason - I wasn't running, or doing anything strenuous - my knee had just turned into a bowl of rice krispies, it would crack and pop when I would bend it. Sometimes it felt like there was a lot off pressure in it, maybe fluid build-up - but then it would crack and relieve it somewhat. If I were to to squat (say to get laundry out of the dryer) I would fall over to my left side because it felt like my knee was going to 'splode off my body. It didn't hurt to touch it, and by just looking at it you couldn't really tell. So I let it go on for a bit thinking it would just go away. After about a month I'd had enough and decided to make an appointment to get an x-ray. I went in and explained to the doctor all of my issues, even explained that it didn't hurt to touch it, or press on it, or slap and even punch it. But when I bent it, it hurt - or put any sort of strain on it, it hurt. She proceeded to start poking at my knee and continuously repeat "Does this hurt?" - of course I kept saying no, because I just got done telling her that was not an issue. So then she began to look at me like I was crazy, and wasting her time - but ordered an x-ray anyway. So I went down to the big scary, cold, dark room with the huge loud machine that looked like Optimus Prime and laid on the table while they x-rayed my knee from 3 angles. So then they said they'd call with the results and I left.

I kid you not - 2 days later it was gone, back to normal! And about a week later I got something in the mail from the clinic, looked like a report card from 3rd grade with a bunch of scribbles on it but all I could make out was the word 'OK'. So, I paid almost $60 to go in and be treated like some sort of asshole for everything to be 'OK'? I just sucked it up, paid my bill and went on my merry way with 2 happy knees....until this last weekend. Whatever it was is back - with a vengeance. Snap, crackle and pop have returned along with their best friends knee fluid and OOWWWWWW. If I have it bent a certain way for a period of time - like when I'm in bed - and then move to a position where I straighten it - it begins to hurt. Not like a sharp, shooting pain - but more of a 'Hulk has a grip on the tendons and cartilage beneath my kneecap' ache. What is this!?!? Apparently Christmas music beginning on November first has stuffed me into the DeLorean, rocketed me to 88 mph hour and spewed me into the year 2033.

I've decided to forgo the doctor's visit this time around and take it upon myself to come back to 2007. So, more milk for moi in the coming days and I'm finally joining a gym this Saturday. Also, upon discussing my ailments with my mother - I learned that my dad also had knee problems for some time and recommended that I take glucosamine chondroitin - as it seems I could very well have a little problem with osteoarthritis. Arthritis people!!!!!!!! I was under the impression that in this day and age, 30 was the new 20....well apparently 25 is the new 60.

If I could only figure out what can cure that crack in my hip every time I go up the stairs...now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my knitting.

Have you ever harmonized with your vacuum?

Someone asked me that once - for the life of me I can't remember who. It could be because it was at least 10 years ago, maybe longer - but I'll always remember it because it's one of the oddest questions I've ever been asked. And I'll really remember it because I actually tried it. I know I've brought up that same question several times in the last decade to various people, and they all gave me the same look. I'm sure you can picture what that look is.

But then I saw this back when Friends was still on the air - and I didn't feel so alone anymore. Friends has always made me feel warm and fuzzy inside and scenes like this are exactly why. It makes the weird people feel right at home. I do realize I'm coming off as a complete lame-ass, but I don't care.

So here's to all you freaks who harmonize with your vacuums, bagpipes and run though Central Park like you've just discovered your limbs.



CHEERS!

It's beginning to look a lot like...wait, what the hell month is it?

No sooner than the last trick or treater dumping out his/her bag of candy, pennies and Jesus pamphlets (people give out some weird shit), did the Christmas (Holiday?) welcome wagon come barreling down the street striking any remaining children left in costume, blasting Burl Ives and shoving fancy ornaments and candy canes up our asses. IT'S THE VERY BEGINNING OF NOVEMBER! Somehow every year I forget that corporate America loves to shove 'Happy Holidays' down our throats so early and in mass quantities that by the time the season actually hits we're throwing it up.

I love Christmas, don't get me wrong - the food, the family, the giving and even the music - but can we have Thanksgiving first!? Thanksgiving is like the red headed step child of Holidays and it's so unfortunate. Where are the turkey and cornucopia decorations? Instead, I'm tripping over a 7ft pre-lit tree with a Rudolph tree skirt 12 hours after I just finished watching Michael Myers gut a helpless nurse. Children will no longer sit wide-eyed in front of the television during the Macy's parade waiting patiently for Santa Claus to come at the end because they've already seen him 394867 times the last month at the mall, Wal-Mart and the gas station! The world's on warp speed people, before I know it I'll be planning my 50th birthday party and it's all because of Christmas music on November 1st!

I refuse to partake in any christmas/holiday cheer until November 19th, for I would like to actually be in the Holiday spirit during the Holidays - not gagging every time I hear Frosty the Snowman while wanting to take his corn cob pipe and shove it up his frosty ass.

LONG LIVE THANKSGIVING!!


I mean really....what would the pilgrims and indians say?